I am often asked, why I've changed my religion, and why I am now Jewish? Let me answer, by first saying this. I have not changed my religion, because I do not follow after a religion. I have a loving relationship with the living Creator of the universe. He is our Father in heaven. It is a personal relationship, with real interaction between our heavenly Father, and myself. He has touched my life in a personal way and proved Himself to be very real. There is constant communication between us. He hears us when we pray, or just give Him thanks and I hear Him when he speaks to my heart. Sometimes we don't hear Him as clearly as we should, just like we didn't always hear our earthly Father exactly as we should have. Yet, at other times, He speaks loud and clear.
I try my best to please Him, but just as we cannot always please our earthly father, I often fall short of pleasing our heavenly Father. Just as I loved my natural earthly Father and tried to please him, I love my supernatural heavenly Father and try my best to please Him. Do we stumble and go off after our own ways at times? Of course we do. Were there consequences when we were disobedient to our earthly fathers? Certainly there were. Were they sometimes painful? They sure were. It's the same with our heavenly Father. Was there forgiveness with our earthly fathers? Certainly there was. There is even greater forgiveness with our heavenly Father. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's not about religion. It's all about a relationship.
I grew up in a Lutheran family and was confirmed in that faith as a teen. I've always had a sense that there was a Father in heaven, but I had always thought of Him, as some great unknowable G-d out there somewhere in the sky. I thought of Him as unreachable and ready to judge me and take me out of this world at any time, if I really made him angry. I prayed often, but I had always had a feeling that He was too busy to hear my pathetic little requests. When I prayed for my dying Grandparents and they passed away, in spite of my constant praying, I guess you could say, I got a bad feeling in my heart about the Almighty. I guess I gave up on Him. I believed in Him, but I quit going to church. I read the Bible and prayed often, but I still had the feeling that our Father was too busy for my problems.
I had often wondered why The Ten Commandments said; "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy." Everywhere I read the Old Testament, it told me the Sabbath was the seventh day of the week, but we went to church on Sunday which was the first day of the week. Nobody could really explain that to me, in a satisfactory manner, that really made any sense. I also had a problem with people having, what seemed to be a built in hatred for the Jewish people, but the Bible always called them "G-d's chosen people." I celebrated Christmas and Easter, but had a feeling deep down inside of me, that something was not right about it. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses knew it wasn't right, and I knew they were a cult.
I had often wondered why The Ten Commandments said; "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy." Everywhere I read the Old Testament, it told me the Sabbath was the seventh day of the week, but we went to church on Sunday which was the first day of the week. Nobody could really explain that to me, in a satisfactory manner, that really made any sense. I also had a problem with people having, what seemed to be a built in hatred for the Jewish people, but the Bible always called them "G-d's chosen people." I celebrated Christmas and Easter, but had a feeling deep down inside of me, that something was not right about it. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses knew it wasn't right, and I knew they were a cult.
While in Detox in 1978, for drug and alcohol abuse and a failed suicide attempt, I cried out to our heavenly Father to make Himself real to me. I was at rock bottom. I wanted to die, but I knew I was headed to hell if I did. I didn't want to live, but I was scared as hell to die. I cried out to Him like I never cried before. I surrendered. A magnificent peace came upon me and I fell asleep. I slept like I had never slept before. Something inside me went through a drastic change, but I had not yet understood what it was. Our Father was doing a work in me. I soon got out of Detox and into a Halfway House, and from there was able to return to society.
I soon returned to my old life, but something was different. I had a new sense about our Creator's presence, and that He was really there. He was close by, and I can't explain what was different, but it was real. I had a knowing that I didn't have before. Finally in 1980, The Lord sent to me a brother that led me to the feet of Yeshua (Jesus). My life changed in an awesome way and I started living my life for Messiah (Christ). I still stumbled around through life, and made a whole bunch of mistakes that hindered my growth, but my life was changed in ways I was powerless to do on my own. I had to leave the church where I confessed my faith in Yeshua, because the Ruach haKodesh (the Holy Spirit) opened my eyes to many errors.
I felt the Ruach (Spirit) calling me to a church named, The Church of God, Teaching New Testament Judaism, or The Church of God NTJ. I finally had a sense of what was right. I know you can't go by feelings, but it just felt right. I had a peace within me by keeping our Father's Sabbaths, that I never had by worshiping on Sunday. I also learned about our heavenly Father's appointed times, or His appointed feasts. There seemed to be no looking back. I was discovering the Jewish roots of my beliefs and It was wonderful. Then turmoil within the congregation, and gossip led me away, and back into Sunday service. For several years, I felt like I was drifting away . In my spirit I considered myself a Messianic believer. My heart was hungry for the truth I knew I was missing out on, by not worshiping in the rich Jewish tradition. Some say I must have Jewish blood rushing through my veins, because my heart and soul seems to be constantly crying out for the Jewish ways, and the G-d of Avraham, Isaac and Jacob. I have always seemed to have a yearning in my heart for the Jewish ways, and a love for the Jewish people.
My wife, Cecile, started asking me questions around Rosh Hashanah that I couldn't answer, so I started searching for a Messianic Congregation. Once I found one, we have not missed a service since. The more we learn of the truth about our heavenly Father, the more real He becomes in our life. I can never again return to the mainline churches that have their roots in Western / Greco-Roman / Hellenism.Do a search of the anti-semitism of the early church fathers and you may be shocked at what you find. The Apostle Paul was already dealing with it in his day. Paganism was common in the early days of the so called church. During the reign of Constantine and during the early councils, all things Jewish were banned. Keeping our Father's appointed times was declared illegal, and the Shabbat (Sabbath) kept by the early Messianic believers was outlawed. Sunday worship honoring the sun god was mandated. Our Father's feasts, or appointed times such as, The Feast of Tabernacles, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur were all made illegal and punishable by death, as was the blowing of the shofar at the appointed times along with celebrating the commanded New Moon. All of these were Mitzvots (Commandments) given by our heavenly Father, and were observed by the early Messianic communities, as well as the Apostles.
I soon returned to my old life, but something was different. I had a new sense about our Creator's presence, and that He was really there. He was close by, and I can't explain what was different, but it was real. I had a knowing that I didn't have before. Finally in 1980, The Lord sent to me a brother that led me to the feet of Yeshua (Jesus). My life changed in an awesome way and I started living my life for Messiah (Christ). I still stumbled around through life, and made a whole bunch of mistakes that hindered my growth, but my life was changed in ways I was powerless to do on my own. I had to leave the church where I confessed my faith in Yeshua, because the Ruach haKodesh (the Holy Spirit) opened my eyes to many errors.
I felt the Ruach (Spirit) calling me to a church named, The Church of God, Teaching New Testament Judaism, or The Church of God NTJ. I finally had a sense of what was right. I know you can't go by feelings, but it just felt right. I had a peace within me by keeping our Father's Sabbaths, that I never had by worshiping on Sunday. I also learned about our heavenly Father's appointed times, or His appointed feasts. There seemed to be no looking back. I was discovering the Jewish roots of my beliefs and It was wonderful. Then turmoil within the congregation, and gossip led me away, and back into Sunday service. For several years, I felt like I was drifting away . In my spirit I considered myself a Messianic believer. My heart was hungry for the truth I knew I was missing out on, by not worshiping in the rich Jewish tradition. Some say I must have Jewish blood rushing through my veins, because my heart and soul seems to be constantly crying out for the Jewish ways, and the G-d of Avraham, Isaac and Jacob. I have always seemed to have a yearning in my heart for the Jewish ways, and a love for the Jewish people.
My wife, Cecile, started asking me questions around Rosh Hashanah that I couldn't answer, so I started searching for a Messianic Congregation. Once I found one, we have not missed a service since. The more we learn of the truth about our heavenly Father, the more real He becomes in our life. I can never again return to the mainline churches that have their roots in Western / Greco-Roman / Hellenism.Do a search of the anti-semitism of the early church fathers and you may be shocked at what you find. The Apostle Paul was already dealing with it in his day. Paganism was common in the early days of the so called church. During the reign of Constantine and during the early councils, all things Jewish were banned. Keeping our Father's appointed times was declared illegal, and the Shabbat (Sabbath) kept by the early Messianic believers was outlawed. Sunday worship honoring the sun god was mandated. Our Father's feasts, or appointed times such as, The Feast of Tabernacles, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur were all made illegal and punishable by death, as was the blowing of the shofar at the appointed times along with celebrating the commanded New Moon. All of these were Mitzvots (Commandments) given by our heavenly Father, and were observed by the early Messianic communities, as well as the Apostles.
Instead of Feasts, given by the Almighty, the church now celebrates Christmas, which is the pagan celebration right after the winter solstice. They offer up their children to a pot bellied fat guy in red garb while they scream in fear. Exactly as the pagans did when they offered their children as a sacrifice to the pagan god Molech. He was a furnace in the shape of a pot bellied man glowing red from the heat. We laugh at the figures of little monkeys beating drums, clashing cymbals and blowing horns, in a mirror image of what they did to drown out the children's screams when offered to the fires.
Then there is Easter instead of Passover. However,
Easter is supposed to be a celebration of the resurrection of Messiah. The
problem is that by design, it almost never falls on the actual dates of when our Passover
lamb (Yeshua) was offered for our sins. Again it is really a celebration of the
pagan god Ishtar (where the name Easter comes from). What do bunnies and eggs have to do with the resurrection of
Messiah? Nothing! They have everything to do with the pagan fertility
rituals of ancient Babylon. The exact same pagan practices our Father punished the Hebrew children for
doing in ancient times, are being practiced today in the name of His beloved Son. Do we really think that our Creator is going to give you a pass for what He has already declared an abomination, and has condemned in the past? Do we really think that our Father is just going to sit back and say, "Oh, it's o'kay that they are doing
these things. After all, they are under grace and not under the Torah (Instruction)." Do you really think our Father is that double minded and fickle?
Most people today cannot even see that our Father gave Torah for a purpose. It is true that we are under grace for our salvation, but if we think that gives us license to spit in the face of the Torah, we may soon find out just how wrong we really are. Our Father gave the Torah to show us how to please Him. Isn't it strange that most people who call themselves Christians can't even see Yeshua from the Tanakh (Old Testament). They blindly celebrate these pagan rituals and then expect Adonai to give them His stamp of approval. Oh, I know. I know. You're only doing it for the kids. WAKE UP PEOPLE! The Almighty is real, and He is not playing games.
Most people today cannot even see that our Father gave Torah for a purpose. It is true that we are under grace for our salvation, but if we think that gives us license to spit in the face of the Torah, we may soon find out just how wrong we really are. Our Father gave the Torah to show us how to please Him. Isn't it strange that most people who call themselves Christians can't even see Yeshua from the Tanakh (Old Testament). They blindly celebrate these pagan rituals and then expect Adonai to give them His stamp of approval. Oh, I know. I know. You're only doing it for the kids. WAKE UP PEOPLE! The Almighty is real, and He is not playing games.
Shalom Ahlaychem,
Barry W. Gaugler
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